Banned from zoo.
Again?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
