if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i now understand why vodka
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
