I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
