would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
