he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
