Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
