Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.

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  (303): you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it. http://tfl.nu/a3f5
  Replies (9) Good night (777) Bad night (4284)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.

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  (708): You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie. http://tfl.nu/ufjq
  Replies (13) Good night (1984) Bad night (2777)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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  (859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4
  Replies (44) Good night (974) Bad night (8245)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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  (682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im
  Replies (12) Good night (1137) Bad night (4107)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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  (757): so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you? http://tfl.nu/s3jk
  Replies (7) Good night (2985) Bad night (922)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend

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  (+44): I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ua0w
  Replies (11) Good night (2477) Bad night (781)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.

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  (620): He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me. http://tfl.nu/rk0r
  Replies (7) Good night (1802) Bad night (530)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

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  (847): YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU http://tfl.nu/vl39
  Replies (7) Good night (2186) Bad night (607)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover

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  (847): A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover http://tfl.nu/j4ep
  Replies (4) Good night (1280) Bad night (477)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.

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  (641): I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change. http://tfl.nu/5jew
  Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (562)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There is an alarming amount of urine in here.

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  (914): There is an alarming amount of urine in here. http://tfl.nu/rii0
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (775)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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  (+61): If tits could talk, mine would be bragging http://tfl.nu/uf52
  Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (270)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...

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  (603): I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff... http://tfl.nu/2u8y
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (482)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.

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  (407): What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats. http://tfl.nu/w4l0
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (466)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...

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  (512): I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute... http://tfl.nu/0ksf
  Replies (0) Good night (1022) Bad night (388)

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