hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking