ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
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You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(