hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
where does the pee come out of this thing
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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