I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
