These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
