What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
