I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize