I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
