If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
