what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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