where am i from again
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
