So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
