I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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