...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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