i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize