1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
