I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
