I want to have your abortion
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize