I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
