I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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