and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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