So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
