Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need water and some morals
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
