well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
