why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
