omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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