he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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