brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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