we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dear god my vagina.
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