I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
