I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
