He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
