I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
its not stalking. its research.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
