Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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