Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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