Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
