the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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