I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
