I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I accidentally had phone sex last night
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
