I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
