Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Watching her eat just hurts me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
