Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
