What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
our cab driver is having phone sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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