Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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