She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
