Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
