No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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