I wannas sexs uuuuu
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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