You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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