Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
is that a dick in a sweater?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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