Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sarcasm needs its own font
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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