so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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