Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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