areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
