no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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