As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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