...so i touched it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
